Disconnected.

When she said the word, I thought that she was referring to how she felt in reference to her surrounding and where she was; in Korea, teaching. Now I realise that she was actually referring to us, our relationship, and how she was feeling more and more detached from me because I was feeling more and more, without her.

I am so intense and pour out too much love when the spark is only just there in the kindling - too much wind and too much wood upon the prye of our relationship, and the fire is going out. I'm sorry, Shan. I haven't learned to spoon the love out drop by drop yet.

You deserved better from me. And I deserved better from me.

Please forgive me.

Alas, I will have to learn to forgive myself first.