I was reminded today, by reading my blog, that time stands still when you do something you love. Then time stands still when I am reading, or writing, or playing cricket on a Summer's day, or when I am with you. Hours may pass as I stare intently at your beautiful face. An age of the world may pass as I look at you through your clear and sparkling blue eyes. I am humbled by your tenderness and your simple kindness, and your lack of need of words to communicate your heart - when a simple nod will do.

I am very intense, and I am blissfully thankful that you are not. You can and have taught me to relax a bit more and not to take things so seriously.

It is true that we have not known each other very long. I have used the years of my life poorly in the view of some, but I have come to think that I am fairly good at discerning character. I am happy and proud to know you and to have you know me. There are no days that I awaken to that I do not look forward to hearing, or smelling, or tasting, or talking to, or touching you.

I think that I shall always be a little intense, and look to you holding my hand close to you. I am not afraid of saying that I deeply care for you and miss you in all the ways that you are. I am not afraid of saying that I am hungry for you. Whomever you should choose to be with and spend time with is tremendously fortunate, for you are good, and are about being good, thinking good and doing good. I see this and I encourage you in it.

Time stands still and my heart beats faster when I see you. It beats faster still when I feel you searching out my hand and want to hold it close to you. For you don't tell me how you feel with words, but with gestures. I can tell that it is a great thing for you to do so, and your emotions choke your throat with ice and words fail you. Your beauty lies in your heart's ability to bypass your throat and expresses itself in your hands and in your eyes.

I blame no-one else for my heart. It feels a great deal and sometimes leads me where angels fear to tread. I cannot offer you very much. I have neither money, nor a great deal of property, nor jewels, neither am I very handsome, nor remarkably fit, nor be anything but a pain. I can offer you all that is me - my mind, my body such as they are. I know you and others question why it is that I offer love so willingly, and that it must be very cheaply given if offered so soon. I can only say that it is because my mind, long spent in discovering people and their inner devices and drives, tells me of your worth and I should be a fool if I was not drawn upon it. You do make me want to be a better person, and for that alone I am grateful. I would be in speechless bliss if I were ever told that the intent was to spend the rest of life getting to know me. I've known me for about 33 years and I am barely getting to know me. I am still looking for someone who will learn and grow with me, and marvel about the world that God has created, and the lives filled upon it to amuse, entertain, and challenge us.

It is a strange feeling. As Harry once said, "For when you have found someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible". I don't pretend to be a mind reader, a would be a fool if I declared that you were the one and only, if there is such a thing; but I would be willing to say that I want to spend a lot more time with you, having fun, learning and exploring, and to experience all the happy, sad, boring and exciting days and nights with you, even if it means to the end of our days.

It is usually at this point that most women get scared and decide that they've got too close and run away.

You've been a brave little Shannie so far. I ask that you hold my hand and walk beside me and be my friend, not judging me, but accepting who and what I am, and maybe with a little bit of love and understanding, come to know who I am and whether I am worth having as a friend.

I love you so much.

And I miss you that much more.

No need to say too much. I know you are far away, and busy with your life and your work. I like talking, and writing ,and expressing myself. It is a part of who I am, and my wont to saying things that should be said while I can say them, and not regret. And there is a little part of me that wants you to like what I write - but I've already done that. I like what I write.

Be well and safe, and happy.