Pensive.

A dual pensiveness-cum-nervous enery is pervasive in the day today and I am unsure of where it is from. I did not manage to secure an interview today with a company that I'd wanted to work with: Aeroguard - they do the security checks at Vancouver International Airport, but the schedule at work did not combine well with the short notice. And so I didn't go. BUt that isn't why. A messed up quietness has replaced the frenetic mess that used to accompany me home when Trish would have been home, busy mussin' it up. She hasn't been there in almost a week and I am half wondering and worrying about where she is and then also some happiness that I now have the opportunity to clean it up a bit and was quite happy with myself on monday night when I cleaned up the kitchen from top to bottom and also the bathroom.

I wrote a note to her mother in Victoria on sunday while at U-Pass and mailed it off on monday. In it I mostly talked about her daughter and what needs being done. I don't know if it was my place, but regardless of how she takes it, I obviously felt that it needed saying since Trish isn't exactly quite "normal" just yet - whatever that means. Her mother is quite determined, however, to bring her wayward daughter back home and while I'd be happy to see her go for now, I felt that I had to offer a bit of a warning. Anyway, it's gone.

I had lunch with Deborah Mac Donald yesterday - we sat on the sunny plaza of Regent College, eating our curries and she scanned the photos which I'd taken in New York. More importantly, we stopped in the bookstore on the way back and I say D. Nagel there in a burgundy top but even as I waalked past her time and again, she didn't see me and I took that as a sign, and combined with being next to Deborah and not wanting to simply cast her off, I didn't go and talk to D. I will see her again if it is meant to be, but my mind was simply elsewhere as well (along those lines) and I have definately been thinking about Dawn more and more.

I had always thought that she was both nice and attractive, but had always put it out of my head as being foolish since we worked together and I assumed that she was going out with someone already - which she was until January apparently. Anyway, suffice to say for now that she is a constant thought for me lately and I am curious to see what, if any, thing may be there. If nothing else, it will have been good to have made a new friend.

Talked to LLRR a bit during lunch. We missed each other (what else is new but I mean in time and space) and didn't bump into each other until about halfway through lunch and we sat and talked on the steps outside the SUB and she was quiet and said that she was tired and didn't have much energy. There seems to be much more there which she either fears to tell me or else hasn't the strength to come up with and I will ahve to let it go for now as it will come up when it should. She is on a juice fast - which she has told me that she has been on before but they must be quite draining - in addition to her new daily regimen of meditation in the wee hours. It must all be quite trying but I sense there there's also something else but well, I'm nothing if not a sticky beak.

Later.